So much change occurs when you get married…suddenly you have someone else to share a bed with, someone else to consider when making plans, and someone else with different habits that just may or may not be acceptable in your eyes. You try so hard to please the other person, but also to stand up for who you are. Marriage creates in you a merging of traits and personality…some things you pick up from being with them, other things they pick up from being with you. You remember the previous post where I talked about how much I’ve changed the last few years?…yeah, I credit a lot of those good changes to being around Paul. He helps me relax and dream and be spontaneous. It’s only natural to want to be a good wife to someone whom I love so deeply. So, how do I love this person God has given me but still hold true to my love for my Heavenly Father?
Now, before you check out because you’re not married yet, hear me out! This is a message for all women…married, in a relationship, single, old, young…etc.
I wanna start out by saying one thing, though. I am soooo under qualified to write this post, let alone speak on anything about marriage. But the few months I’ve been married to Paul (5! Yay!) have taught me a few things about myself and my relationship with the Lord. So, how do I become a woman after Gods own heart at this point of my life as a married woman. This is something I’ve been wrestling with lately. I know that my soul’s purpose is to love God above all else. But too often I put Paul above Him. My thoughts, then, went to the passage Solomon wrote about a Godly woman in Proverbs.
Ahh, so refreshing to read…but also kinda discouraging! This woman seems too good to be true! How on earth am I supposed to manage “rising while it is yet night to provide food for my household” and “plant a vineyard with my own hands” and “make my arms strong” (this lady pumped iron!), “keep my lamp on all night” aka not sleep, “feed the poor and needy”, “make my own clothes”, “sell the clothes I make”…I’m getting exhausted just thinking about all that!
I think what we read here is deeper than that…it can be summarized by one simple sentence.
A Godly woman shows love to her husband by not being idle…in her marriage and her relationship with God.
I know neither God nor Paul desire that I ware myself out with work. But what really pleases both God and my husband is when I keep aware of opportunities to be the best I can be…whether that be through work, missions, writing, cooking.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart. As if working for the Lord, not for men.”
If you’re not yet married, think about your relationships with others. Are you working so hard to please others that you’ve lost the joy of service? Do you find yourself going to extreme measures to look a certain way so that people may think more highly of you? All forms of work that isn’t to honor God is done in vain…plus, how unsatisfying is it when the pleasure is earthly. Instead, my prayer is that everything in my life and yours be done with a heavenly mindset. I know, easier said than done. But totally possible and worth it!
My goal should not be to please Paul with my actions…though that is an outcome. Instead, I work to please my creator. This is a tough mindset to have…definitely a struggle on the daily. But the tale of the godly woman in Proverbs 31 is a wake up call to work hard and continue to strive for being a better wife. For God, not man.
How does living as a godly wife look in your life? What helps you put God over your husband? How do you, together, put God first in your marriage?